Hi Internet!

It's been a long time since we've spoken. It's been a rough few months, I have to admit. But I seem to have a lot of free time now. Kinda sad, that.

I feel like I'm being a baby, but I miss the shit out of my dad. And yet I don't feel sad, not really. How can you feel sad about someone finally being pain-free after years of holding on for the family? I wish I could talk to him again, but other than that, I'm doing ok.

Mom and I were going through his books the other day, and I found a great book called Found!, appropriately enough. It's got a collection of letters, notes and signs that people found outside in various places. They're at times hilarious, but at other times they are heartbreakingly sad. My sisters and my mom didn't think it was cool at all, but I know Dad did, and I do too, so it feels like a connection, I guess. I'm going to try to read all of the books I took from his old room, just to try to get to know him better. I wish I'd had more time to do that while he was still alive, but life, apparently, is too shitty to allow that.

Anyway, just wanted to check in with you, Internet-diary. Everything else continues as well as can be. P. gave me a promise ring the other day, and I think that's pretty damn cool, myself. My mom's already thinking about my wedding, so I guess she likes him too! Everytime I think about it though, all I can think about is that there won't be anyone to give me away. That makes me really damn sad, I suppose, even though not much else does. I assume with time I'll get over that and be ready to move on to the happy stuff, but I'm just going to try to not think about it until then. No sense in tainting what should be fairly happy thoughts, right?

Thanks for taking my various biles, Wild Wild Web. Talk to you soon.

-Tokio

Currently Reading Found: The Best Lost, Tossed, and Forgotten Items from Around the World By Davy Rothbart see related